Massage Oil for Couples: A Practical Guide

Choosing a massage oil

Most bottles fall into two camps: a plain carrier oil, or a prepared massage product with added scent or other ingredients. Decide which you want, then read the ingredient list properly. We haven't tested any product and we don't recommend particular ones.

Springfields names sweet almond, jojoba, grapeseed and apricot kernel among its carrier options. Check the label if anyone has an allergy.

Better Health Channel says essential oils should be diluted in a medium such as plain massage oil or an unscented base cream. It specifically excludes mineral oil cream, such as most sorbolene brands or baby oil, as a base for essential oils.

Essential oils need care

Scent is optional. Plenty of people skip essential oils entirely, and a plain oil works fine.

Better Health Channel says aromatic plant oils are very potent, should be used sparingly and must never be applied undiluted. Springfields says a usual adult strength is one or two drops in 5 mL of carrier, with less for sensitive skin.

For a patch test, Springfields says to dilute the oil to the strength you intend to use, apply a small amount to your inner forearm, cover it and leave it for 24 hours. Springfields says not to use that oil if you get redness, itching or swelling. So mix a little the day before, not five minutes before you start.

The specific essential oil matters too:

• Better Health Channel lists lemongrass and basil among oils that may cause problems.
• Springfields treats cinnamon and clove bud with particular caution as irritants or sensitisers, even diluted. It also names peppermint and black pepper.
• Springfields says cinnamon bark oil should not be applied to skin at all.
• Better Health Channel says toxic oils such as camphor, pennyroyal and wintergreen should never be used.

Better Health Channel says pregnant women and people with certain conditions, including epilepsy or high blood pressure, should consult their doctor before using essential oils.

HealthyWA says undiluted essential oils can irritate or burn sensitive skin, and susceptible people may develop an allergic reaction and rash. For skin exposure, HealthyWA advises removing contaminated clothing and washing the skin with soap and water, then seeing a doctor if symptoms don't resolve.

Oil, condoms and lube

Is massage oil safe with condoms? Not with latex ones. Sexual Health Victoria says oil-based lube can't be used with latex condoms because it can damage latex, so keep the massage oil well away from them.

Choose a separate lube for condom use. Sexual Health Victoria says water-based or silicone-based lube can be used with external condoms, and advises checking the lube label. Water-based lube is also the option recommended by the toy makers discussed here.

Don't assume a bottle labelled couples massage oil doubles as lube. Read its intended use and compare it with the condom instructions. Our lube guide gives you a separate place to consider that choice.

Sexual Health Victoria also says some people are allergic to latex and that non-latex condoms exist. Check the instructions for the condom you actually have, rather than assuming every material has the same requirements.

Massage oil and sex toys

Read your toy's care instructions before putting the oil beside it. We-Vibe warns that oils and creams can cause irreparable damage to its toys and risk voiding the warranty. Its examples include essential oils and coconut oil, as well as edible oils, sunscreen and lip care.

We-Vibe's FAQ recommends water-based lube. Womanizer's Australian FAQ also says water-based lubricants are best. That's what those two brands say about their own toys. Other brands may differ, so go by your toy's instructions.

Quin, from Thorne Harbour Health, recommends washing toys with mild fragrance-free soap and water or toy cleaner. For sensitive skin, Quin advises choosing water-based lube that is glycerine-free, fragrance-free or hypoallergenic.

Our toy cleaning guide is a useful companion to the maker's instructions. If you're still choosing a toy, you can also read about couples toys and body-safe materials. The We-Vibe review covers that brand separately.

Keep essential oils away from the mouth

Better Health Channel says not to use aromatic plant oils in any orifice, giving ears, mouth and vagina as examples.

Better Health Channel says essential oils must never be swallowed and can be poisonous by mouth. HealthyWA says even small amounts can cause significant poisoning. A scent you associate with food doesn't change that advice.

HealthyWA advises storing essential oils in a child-resistant container out of children's reach. Better Health Channel also says to keep all aromatic plant oils away from children, noting that consumption is an increasing cause of poisoning in children.

For poisoning, Better Health Channel says to ring triple zero (000) or the Victorian Poisons Information Centre on 131 126.

Setting up and cleaning up

Put down an old towel or sheet first. Oil travels, and the laundry afterwards needs more thought than you'd expect.

The South Australian Metropolitan Fire Service says towels and linen containing massage oil can retain an oily residue after washing. It says heating and drying can make that residue self-heat and spontaneously combust.

The Tasmanian Consumer, Building and Occupational Services hazard alert warns that tumble drying towels exposed to massage oil can cause a fire during the cycle or long after it finishes. It also identifies blocked lint filters and an incomplete cool-down as risk factors.

For oily linen, Metropolitan Fire Service advises washing in hot water with plenty of detergent. It says to use the dryer's cooling cycle or spread linen in single layers to cool completely before folding or stacking. If you use a dryer, let the full cool-down cycle finish, following the Tasmanian alert's warning.

Talk before you start

The Australian Government's Beforeplay advice describes consent as everyone feeling respected and not pressured, and says it's okay to say no.

Ask what your partner would like. Talk about where they want touch and what they'd prefer to leave out. Agree on how to pause or stop, and leave room to change the plan.

Maybe one of you wants a quiet massage with no toys anywhere near it, and the other hates strong smells. Settle that before the bottle comes out. Our sexual wellness section has more reading when you want it.

Buying massage oil in Australia

Adult stores and general retailers stock massage oils. If you're comparing places to shop, start with our Australian adult store guide, then read the ingredient list and intended use of the product you're considering.

Look for instructions you can follow, including any directions for dilution. Check your condom or toy instructions separately instead of relying on the massage product's description to answer every compatibility question.

The ACCC says products bought in Australia come with automatic consumer guarantees. These include being of acceptable quality and matching their description.